It's Friday. Sex?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
