these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
