After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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