the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
please come you make the beer taste better
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
