just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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