with your own penis?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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