I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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