I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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