Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
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Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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