Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
