I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
