I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
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i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
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I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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