I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
