Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
