So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
