No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
