It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She told me I should be a condom model.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
