Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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