After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
