I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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