and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
