i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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