It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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