508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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