I want to make a zoo with you.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize