We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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