I heard we made out
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
