420 ftw
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
