but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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