Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
