Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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