thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
