Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
