8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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