8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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