No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize