so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
