my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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