I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
