Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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