TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
