I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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