dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
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We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
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we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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