Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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