she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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