Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
