I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She even gives head with a lisp.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
