At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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