drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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