She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
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