i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
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he fucked my hip out of place.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
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Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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