My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize