I'm really into asian looking animals
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
