Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
