where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
