The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
