Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
