It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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