I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
