yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
