I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
