I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
